Hotel CA…NOT!

Cute town

Cute town

In the Arm Pit of the Devil Spawn

June 10, 2014

We have jumped ahead. Taken a bus to Najerino ( we have cramps which has created back pain and stomach pain and who can wear a backpack with these things going on?) and are staying in a donativo. It sucks. Really.

The place is nice ( no wifi, very cramped…think of summer camp as a kid with bunk beds right next to each…I can reach out and touch the bed next to mine), the hosts are nice. The cute little kitchen is nice ( but no way can it accommodate more than two people cooking). However, there is this group of Neanderthal, cigar smoking, crotch scratching, Mafia, macho men, with one I believe to be a bookie. Really. He has a notebook, gets calls and makes calls every few minutes, writes in his book and yells in his phone. He and another man, are the ring leaders for a group of pigs…uh…men. They are rude, pushy, crude and if we hadn’t already bought the ingredients to fix our meals with, we would leave. We don’t know if the other hostel has a kitchen.

The rude two, quickly shoved others aside to be first in line and had the other men give them their credentials to attain beds, before the rest of us who cued up.
Then while I’m checking in, the two guys took over the kitchen and commandeered the entire place and filled up the stove with all their pots. I was told to come back in 40-60 minutes.

I am in no mood to be messed with. Not during this time of the month. Do. Not. Mess. With. A. PMS woman.

To top it off, two of the younger guys in this group are practicing their pick- up lines in English. I can not write what they are saying because my blog is rated PG-13 and is not a porno site. Trust me when I say I got disgusted, looked at them and “ummmphhhheeeed” The sentences they said might pick up a prostitute, but certainly is not appropriate to say out loud in a public setting like this. I have been around plenty of men and NONE of them have EVER used these words out loud with women present. They must be learning English phrases from porn videos. That is the only thing I can surmise as they keep repeating them to each other over and over.

What pigs. And they are sleeping next to me. And there are only 6 women staying here among the 80 men. And in my bottom bunkbed as I lay there, I am treated to looking at the guy’s crotch who has a bed above me, but he stands at my eye level while fiddling with his stuff ( not the stuff in his pants….the stuff on his bed).

I predict that tonight this place will be filled with a lot of animal sounds and barnyard smells. We will not repeat this experience again.

Oh…I forgot to mention the guy with lice. He looks really super creepy. Like Richard Ramerize’s booking photo. He has long hair pulled into a bun. He has been scratching the back of his neck constantly and pulling little things out, looking at his fingers and repeating the gestures. We are creeped out.

All I want to do is soak my feet in ice water. I go to the laundry room to see what they have in there and I come face to…well…bottomless man! He has taken off his pants and undies and has his shirt pulled up over his head as he is trying to undress and toss his clothes into the washer. OH. MY. GOSH. What kind of place have we stumbled into?

So much for a relax day. I think I will sleep with my knife tonight while holding onto Abby tightly.

7 thoughts on “Hotel CA…NOT!

  1. aloarb53

    Hurry up and post your next blog piece — so I can get my daily laugh AND to make sure you’re still alive!

    Reply
    1. SM Monroe

      Too bad you can’t sleep on the roof – gross – yes don’t let Abigail out of your site. I hope you don’t have a communal bathroom. Hope they are not going the same way you are.

      Reply
  2. Annie

    Oh my gosh! Welcome to Camino life! Unless you book privates, this is your life the next few weeks. I’m cracking up! You should write a book, darlin! You are quite talented !

    Reply

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